>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> WELCOME TO <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ___ ___ __ __ _____ ___ / __| ___ / _ \ ____ \ \ / / _ _ | __ | ___ ___ / __| | (__ | _ \ | _ | |_ / \ V / | \| | | __| \ \/\/ / \__ \ \___| | / |_| |_| / / |_| | .` | |_____| \ /\ / |___/ |_|_\ /___| |_|\_| \/ \/ --- * Issue 16 * --- --- * C R A Z Y N E W S ! ! * --- Welcome to the 16th issue of CrazyNews: --- * Contents * --- * Introduction * The News! * Ossie's Travel Tips * Admin Admissions! * Residents Homepages Competition * Skid's Woodworking Tips * 69 Reasons * Spods at the Movies * CrazyStats * Corrections * Submit Stuff * Mailing Information --- * Introduction * --- Ah, summertime. Spodding in air-conditioned comfort. Being out of school. Traveling the world. However you're spending it, summer is a great time for spodding. Then again, when isn't a good time for spodding. This month, the writers here at CrazyNews Central are all off on summer vacation. So, this issue will be nice and short (and full of Skid-isms). Thanks for taking the time off from laying on the beach (spodding on your cellular modem) and reading this issue. And now, on with the show. --- * The News! * --- AP (Rome, NY) -- Thousands of concert-goers at last week's Woodstock reported seeing spods at the event. When asked about the experience, the overwhelming response was, "Spod? No, I said where's the bathroom." S&T (Marlborough, MA) -- mmm...cable modem. 3$&# (Neptune) -- A download-happy spod died of heart-failure late this afternoon. His last words were reportedly, "Aaaaugh! Where did that thing come from?!?" Investegators report that a newly acquired cable modem may have some connection to the case. --- * Ossy's Travel Tips * --- * Que? * If you're travelling to a country where the primary language is not your own (I'm going to assume in this case that English is the first language of most readers), you will want to have a phrasebook. Do not buy an English/(language of choice) dictionary as this will be very difficult to use in normal conversation. Imagine waiting while someone looked up each word to ask you a question like, "where's the washroom?"! One of the major advantages of a phrasebook is that the phrases will already be conjugated into the proper verb forms and levels of familiarity. In German, for example, it is very important not to address someone very casually unless you know them very well. The phrasebooks take this into account and use formal phrasings in all cases. We used a phrasebook developed by the publishers of the "Lonely Planet", and it was very good. The first page of a section provided information about the language, with a pronunciation guide. The most commonly used phrases were next ("hello", "how much is this", "where is the toilet", "please", "thank you", etc.), and then each language was divided further into categories. These included, "dining out", "shopping", "getting around", "accomodation" and so on. The locals will really appreciate your effort to speak in their language, even if it is only to ask if they speak English. The reaction is amazing, and even if they do not speak English, I guarantee they will be more willing to try to communicate with you and help you than if you had just yelled at them in English as if they would understand the language if it was just louder! Even if you get frustrated with the language barrier, don't take it out on them. Give travellers a good reputation, and remember that YOU are the outsider. --- * Admin Admissions! * --- Hi everyone and anyone. Swiff here yet again. Must appologise for the lateness of this issue. It's entirely my fault because I've been VERY busy and only gotten around to sending it two weeks after our fine editing friend Mr. Skid sent it to me. So here it is, and a funny one at that. I also thought there was formatting to do, but Skid had made one mistake and other than that it looks fine, so I was wrong. (What do you mean again). Crazy has been suffering somewhat under a multitude of bugs of late, for which I can only appologise. Nevyn has been in the states and getting himself all married to Verin - so congratualtions to them both - I only wish I could have been there. I've not heard from him since he left the UK so I hope they're both well. As soon as he comes back I'm sure he'll leap to fixing the problems we've had - but being as he's the only one who really knows the code at the moment, we'll have to wait paitiently for his (glorious?) return. I know I've been on very little, but there's a lot happening in my life at the moment which doesn't let me be around. I'm sorry that's the case, but that's the way things are. I miss all of you, and hope you're all well. Take care, ~Swiff --- * Residents Homepages Competition * --- This month we announce the winner of the CrazyLands Homepage of the Month Award, and it goes to: -----~ WINNER ~---- Annie http://www.crazylands.org/users/annie.html The editors picked this site once again because the music is really funny. You've just got to hear the cat page!!! -----~ WINNER ~---- --- * Skid's Woodworking Tips * --- Hi all... If a spod weighs the same as a duck, they are made of wood...and therefore, a witch!!! Skid --- * 69 Reasons * --- This issue, we have a special treat for all you spods who were disappointed with the lack of 69ing in the past few months. TRiK has come through with an article to increase your pleasure [ed] oi! [/ed]. 34 1/2 Reasons to Shoot Yourself for Missing Woodstock + 34 1/2 Reasons to Be Glad You Were Home Spodding During Woodstock ----- 69 Reasons Shooting Spodding -------- -------- 1. Naked women, if that's your 1. Naked women, if that's not your bag. bag. 2. Naked men, if that's your bag. 2. Naked men, if that's not your bag. 3. Mud wrestling. 3. Mud people. 4. Free camping. 4. 250,000 other people camping. 5. $3(USD) potato and corn combo. 5. $4 (USD) bottle of water 6. 250,000 having a great time. 6. 100 smegheads rioting. 7. 3 stages of great music. 7. 2 mile walk between stages. 8. Did I mention the naked people? 8. Hairy naked people. 9. Fresh air. 9. 1,200 overflowing port-o=potties. 10. Peace. 10. Fire. 11. Love. 11. Fire. 12. Rock and Roll. 12. Fire. 13. Cool, refreshing water. 13. Flying water bottles. Full. 14. Nice sunny weather. 14. Hot, sweltering weather. 15. Good tanning opportunity. 15. I forgot the sunblock. Ouch. 16. Free parking. 16. 75,000 cars. 17. Shuttle service to parking lot. 17. Shuttle drivers on strike. 18. Cheap scalped tickets. 18. Paid full price online. 19. Tie-dye shirts. 19. Tie-dyed body from tie-dyed shirt. 20. Air-brushed chests. 20. The sock guy. (Ask Trik) 21. Security. 21. Security? 22. Cool, clean rain. 22. Bright lightning. Metal towers. You work it out. 23. Be on TV. 23. Parents can see you. 24. Lots of 69s. 24. I didn't need to see that. 25. 1969 attendees present. 25. 1969 attendees naked. 26. Plenty of food vendors. 26. No spoons. [ed] grin [/ed] 27. Serene location. 27. 69 miles to nearest gas station. 28. Cool stuff to buy (food, 28. Food, shirts, etc. *everywhere*. shirts, etc...). 29. Pro-earth theme. 29. 1 trash barrel per acre. 30. Great bands. 30. James Brown. 31. Bare naked ladies. 31. No Barenaked Ladies. 32. Free stuff. 32. $30 (USD) T-shirts. 33. Cool naked hoola-hoop twirling. 33. It wasn't around his waist. 34. Hearing live music. 34. Ears still ringing. 35. Seeing your friends naked. --- * Spods at the Movies * --- Welcome to a new section of our newsletter. The Spod Movie Review. This issue, we're writing about the Blair Witch Project. All those IRL newspapers are calling it the "scariest movie" and "the Real World in Hell". So, what do spods think? Well, for a movie that does not include any special effects, no computers, and nobody named Yoda, it is awesome. The movie is filmed entirely using 8mm film and a home movie camera (so much for big-budget productions). This first-person perspective gives the movie a realism that I've never seen in a film before. It's almost believable, and that's what makes it so scary. The premise is that 3 amateur filmmakers go into the woods in Maryland to do a documentary on the legend of the Blair Witch. They all disappear and a year later, their footage is found. The movie is a selection of clips from the tapes that were found. What a concept! Go see this movie. If it's not playing near you, move! Skid --- * CrazyStats * --- Since Wed, 31 Dec 1969 08:00:00 pm... Connections: 4 Longest Uptime: 21 minutes and 11 seconds Longest spod: daX time: 6 minutes and 52 seconds Obviously, this is wrong, but we thought it was so funny that we just had to include it. --- * Corrections * --- Corrections? We made a spelling mistake somewhere in this issue. If you can find it, we'll let you write your own CL article!!! --- * Submit Stuff * --- If you want to submit anything, use the following email addresses to send your stuff. Please remember that all the usual rules about content apply, and the editors reserve the right to change any submitted articles. Please make sure you say so if you do not wish your name and/or email address to be published!! crazynews@crazylands.org All submissions, jokes or debate topics, etc. crazy@crazylands.org Any email to admin, complaints, etc. Back Issues - Available on the CrazyLands web site at: http://www.crazylands.org/crazynews.html --- * Mailing Information * --- This email has been sent to you because you're a resident on CrazyLands, the talker which runs at: crazylands.org 6969 See our web page at http://www.crazylands.org for more information. If you do not wish to receive this email, please log onto the talker and type: crazynews off If you do not know why you have been sent this mail, please let us know at: crazynews@crazylands.org ...send along the email address that you received this email at and any character names you may have had on the program. Your email address is never published to users or external sources. It is a rule of the talker that you must set a valid email address however, so that you may be contacted if there is a problem or with important talker information. This is not a stored mailing list. --- * The End (of Issue 16) ! * ---