>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> WELCOME TO <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ___ ___ __ __ _____ ___ / __| ___ / _ \ ____ \ \ / / _ _ | __ | ___ ___ / __| | (__ | _ \ | _ | |_ / \ V / | \| | | __| \ \/\/ / \__ \ \___| | / |_| |_| / / |_| | .` | |_____| \ /\ / |___/ |_|_\ /___| |_|\_| \/ \/ --- * Christmas Issue (Issue 10 for those counting) * --- --- * C R A Z Y N E W S ! ! * --- Welcome to the Christmas issue of CrazyNews: --- * Contents * --- * Introduction * The News! * CL Christmas Song * 69 Reasons (Christmas Style) * Admin Admissions! * Residents Homepages Competition * Big Al's Woodworking Tips * CrazyStats * Corrections * Submit Stuff * Mailing Information --- * Introduction * --- Happy Christmas All!! Just a few words to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and to tell you that we've some pretty special articles in this issue, in particular the CL Christmas song and the Christmas 69 reasons ... Thanks to everyone who has contributed towards Crazynews over the past year - keep the articles coming next year please! Once again, have a great Christmas and all the best for the New Year. ~Raist --- * The News! * --- * On the move.... * Me, (Me being Raist) has been on the move in the last month, moving to a permanent resident (I own the place!) in Leeds UK and hence the lack of a newsletter last month.... Swiff has also been on the move on a slightly less permanent scale and has been in the US working for Reuters and will be going back again early next year. He's also taken time out to visit people in TO, Canada in that time catching up on some old friends. * Tutorial Continues in the New Year * The CrazyLands tutorials (currently the twinkles series) will recomence in the New Year, probably after the February issue (which will be our special CrazyLands birthday special!). * CrazyLands Ages... * On February 1st in the New Year, CrazyLands will be FOUR years old!! Look out for CrazyNews' Birthday Special coming at the end of January! --- * A Christmas Song! * --- * Twas the Night before Christmas (Spodmas?) * Twas the Night before Christmas And all through CL Not a spod was idling It all went quite well The spods were all chatting About Christmas and such And commented on the Session, reading "What're you getting; how much?" When suddenly connected A newbie, quite fresh Named "Santa", of all things! Father Christmas, in the flesh! The ressies were excited To see old St. Nick And he was flooded with tells and with questions, quite quick! "What am I getting?" asked Snowman "I've been good!" shouted Wheezie And I'm sure I caught Mack Emit something sleezy... Well Santa was baffled And very confused His computer skills Were so seldom used Relief came at last From an SU named Grim Who showed off some help files And twinkles to him So Santa was thankful And loved Crazylands And spodded for hours Which tired his hands! Now what a dilema A tragedy, quite sure For the elf's sleigh would go nowhere Without a quick cure! The resis all thought And then thought again How to deliver the presents For their new-found friend Alien suggested They postpone the day But Santa thought there Must be another way It was Nevyn's suggestion Which tempted St. Nick, "Just send them by email It will be so quick!" So Santa used magic And a modem of size To compress all the presents And deliver them worldwide He was ever so thankful Of this clever plan To be working from home Made him a happy man. The old elf decided He must do what he could To thank these helpful spods Who had done so much good So the spods got their wishes For lots of Christmas cheer, Long distance gift certificates And a Happy New Year. Peace and love to all of my CrazyLands friends during the holiday season. ~OStriCH --- * 69 Reasons (Christmas Style) * --- 69 Gifts for a spod during the Holiday season: 1. Free net access. 2. Free local phoning for those UK spods. 3. Phone line dedicated for internet use only. 4. Heck make it a cable modem... 5. With a direct link to the backbone... 6. A new computer. 7. A second computer for net use only. 8. A third computer to host a net site. 9. A fourth computer as a back up... *grin*. 10. A really good monitor. 11. A monitor that is just like Nexus' so I can watch TV and spod at the same time. 12. Nexus' computer set up in his room. 13. Nexus' job. 14. A soundproof room so you can't be disturbed whilst you spod. 15. A really comfy chair to sit in whilst you spod. 16. A really cool desk that has lots of space for all your spod gear. 17. Spod gear. 18. A Crazylands T-shirt for everyday of the week. (still on sale!) 19. A Crazylands T-shirt for a spod's wife/husband, children, parents, etc. so then they can be a part of the CL family. (still on sale as well!) 20. A Crazylands keychain. 21. A web page. 22. Email that says Happy Holidays. 23. A bop proofable suit to wear in the hub. 24. A shovel to dig a swimming pool in the hub with. 25. Snow. (Snowman especially wants this) 26. A polar fleece blanket to keep warm while Snowman gets his snow. 27. A plane ticket. 28. A plane ticket to see a spod of choice for the holidays. 29. A really good tinyfugue kind of thing to make spodding much easier and more fun. 30. Tech support that does not make you cry. 31. An internet provider that actually WANTS your business by having awesome tech support that can read your mind. 32. Internet access whenever and wherever you are. 33. A laptop just for that purpose. 34. A cellular phone (or mobile phone) for that purpose alone. 35. An extra cellular phone (or mobile phone) so then people can reach you as you spod away from home. 36. A job where you can spod all day. 37. A job where you can spod all day without being fired... 38. A job that Skid can't fire you from. 39. Bug-free code. 40. Nevyn's brain. 41. Nevyn's brain used to make a profit for CL. 42. A Miss Teen USA crown for Id. 43. And the scholarship to go with it for Id. 44. Season ticket to the Toronto Maple Leafs. 45. A new house that is all set up. 46. The disappearance of the Atlantic Ocean. 47. A bottle of Bailey's. 48. Flat food. 49. Digital Camera. 50. Free long distance phoning to anywhere in the world. 51. Gloves you can spod in when it gets too cold. 52. A typo free year. 53. A mistell free year. 54. Mutant Dwarf repellant. 55. A UFO to take Alien back to his planet. 56. Dinner with BNL. 57. A song about CL written and performed by BNL. 58. KD 59. Tuna Bake (BLEAH!) 60. A free BNL concert just for CL spods. 61. Free airfare for all spods to the TO spod meet in April. 62. Spoons. 63. For the world to spell colour with the u in it and all other words that have that 'OUR' spelling. 64. The cure for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 65. The cure for dry eyes from too much spodding. 66. Binary adding abilities. 67. Pink ostrich milk. 68. A pet Canadian Goose. 69. Lots of love, happiness and good feelings to last the entire year. ~Written by Simba Any ideas for a '69 reasons' theme ? - send them to CrazyNews and we'll get our resident '69' woman to do it for you ! ;P Oooers... --- * Admin Admissions! * --- Hello everyone! Merry Christmas! I have to appologise for this issue being out late this month. We'd decided to miss the December issue to send out a bonus Christmas issue - but even this is a little on the late side (you were supposed to receive it around 15th December!) - mainly due to all of us being really busy with Christmas and other stuff (see the news!). I hope you enjoy this issue - whenever you might get it - and have a great Christmas break. On the talker front, Nevyn is still hard at work making the big changes that were mentioned recently, we even have someone else contributing a game to the talker! More about that when things are more certain, but either way, in the new year sometime, we're expecting to have lots of exciting new developments! I'm going to sign off now and go and enjoy Christmas some more. So finally - Merry Christmas from CrazyLands - all the staff, I'm sure, wish you the best of the season. ~Swiff --- * Residents Homepages Competition * --- This month we announce the first winner of the CrazyLands Homepage of the Month Award, and it goes to: -----~ WINNER ~----- Ostrich (again!) http://www.interlog.com/~janem -----~ WINNER ~----- Ostrich again shows everyone up by designing her very own Christmas website. Well done Ossie, and thanks for lighting up our lives this Christmas with your themed site! If you'd like to enter this competition all you need to do is make sure that your webpage is part of the CrazyLands webring. Check out http://www.crazylands.org to see if you're webpage is included If your site doesn't appear on the web ring email Nexus (nexus@crazylands.org), who will arrange for your link to be added. --- * Big Al's Woodworking Tips * --- After Christmas why not utilize the old christmas tree to make a simple bird feeder, and give a helping hand to our feathered friends through the long cold stretch to spring. Cut three slices from the lower trunk of the tree (approx 3/4 inch (that's 18mm) thick), two of similar diameter, one a little larger. Wrap galvanized wire mesh (available from any hardware store) of about 8 inches (200mm) around one on the slices and staple. Then using fine wire, wrap along the join to hold the mesh together. You should now have a mesh cylinder with a wood base. To make the top, glue and pin the remaining slice to the larger one, this should now sit inside the top of the feeder without falling off. To finish just place a loop of wire around the feeder, so it can be hung up and fill with nuts. Now sit back and feel contented after completing a nice little project that also helps the wildlife. Failing that take the needle shedding thing to be re-cycled (:-> Merry Christmas one and all. --- * CrazyStats * --- For the number geeks among you here is CrazyStats! Every month we'll give you a list of stats that will guarantee to kill off the most lively of conversations. The new code to produce new and interesting stats has failed to appear, but we're still hoping for it one day. This months CrazyStats effort: Longest up time ever: 22 days and 7 hours+ Current Residents: 1069 Total Online time of: 2.00M minutes +2% last month Top 20 spods: 1393 days, 7 hours, 26 minutes Longest spod session by: pumbaA Their time in one session: 10 hours, 10 minutes and 51 seconds ...as of 24 December '98 at 17:32 GMT. --- * Classifieds, Correspondence Section, Personals * --- * FREE SPACE FOR ALL TO USE! * Your advert here! FREE! This section is where ressies can submit info for other ressies to get in touch with them, to start (or end) a love connection, or to buy or sell goods or information! Please note that all adverts are free, and any one advert will only be run for 3 issues of CrazyNews. The editors reserve the right to remove an advert or decline to display it at anytime. * Lost * One semi-circle shaped metal wire to enhance support in undergarment typically (though not exclusively) worn by women and of particular use in containing pink milk. Last seen in a large appliance in Colchester. If found, please contact Swiff... er - Ostrich! --- * Corrections * --- Here in our newest section of the news letter, we admit our faults. It had to happen sooner or later, though the editor was surprised to see that mistakes could actually be made. Here, every month, we'll spend time correcting our faults. This is also a good way to get your name in the news letter, cause unless people tell us not to, we'll thank each person who finds a problem with the last edition. So far ... No corrections for issue 9 - November. .oO( I guess Nevyn didnt read issue 9 then??)Oo.. Ed --- * Submit Stuff * --- If you want to submit anything, use the following email addresses to send your stuff. Please remember that all the usual rules about content apply, and the editors reserve the right to change any submitted articles. Please make sure you say so if you do not wish your name and/or email address to be published!! crazynews@crazylands.org All submissions, jokes or debate topics, etc. crazy@crazylands.org Any email to admin, complaints, etc. Back Issues - Soon to be available on the web page. Currently available at: crazynews@crazylands.org --- * Mailing Information * --- This email has been sent to you because you're a resident on CrazyLands, the talker which runs at: crazylands.org 6969 See our web page at http://www.crazylands.org for more information. If you do not wish to receive this email, please log onto the talker and type: crazynews off If you do not know why you have been sent this mail, please let us know at: crazynews@crazylands.org ...send along the email address that you received this email at and any character names you may have had on the program. Your email address is never published to users or external sources. It is a rule of the talker that you must set a valid email address however, so that you may be contacted if there is a problem or with important talker information. This is not a stored mailing list. --- * The End (of issue 10)! * ---